WFBP 0215

Frequent Questions

We are always available to answer your questions...

How can we make a funeral nice without spending extravagant amounts of money?

Please note that love is not measured by the amount of money you spend on a funeral. Below are some elements and rituals that can be implemented to a funeral service that doesn’t cost lots of money: 

  • memorial table: brining to the service special items of your loved one 
  • friends/family to speak at the service 
  • placing a photo on top of the coffin 
  • lighting a candle or inscent sticks 
  • singing a favourite hymn 
  • have a singalong to one of their favourite songs 
  • cultural rituals (smoking ceremony, blessings etc)  
  • painting/decorating or writing on the coffin/casket 
  • bring some drinks (champs/beer/whisky etc) to have one last toast! 
  • bring their pet along to say goodbye, like the family dog 
  • bring along a special car/bike and park at the front of our chapel 
  • guard of honours (schools, sporting/service clubs)   
  • and the list goes on, long as it’s legal we can help you make it happen!

This can be just about any where! We believe a funeral should be as unique as the person, it can be held at the family home (great for farmers/gardeners), club, their local drinking hole pub/club etc, beach/park, their church or any place of significance. 

We will transport your person into our care by moving them carefully onto our stretcher and then we will drive them in our mortuary ambulance to Westella House, where they are then placed in our mortuary. Here we will look after your person, gently wash and dress them. We refer to our mortuary more like a day spa, as we pamper your person and make them look beautiful to create lasting memories. 

A viewing/vigil is a time where family and friends can come together to see their person one more time and say their personal farewells. It can a powerful healing part of the after death processing.

This may include being able to wash and dress their person if they want to with the guidance and support of our caring team.

A viewing/vigil takes place between a person’s death, and their funeral - they can be held at Westella House, and we have found that offering a home based viewing/vigil to be an incredibly powerful way to promote healing and ease their early bereavement, especially if the death was unexpected. In some cases, a person may have left the family home one morning and never come back again. Holding the viewing/vigil at home allows family to reunite again, connect with their person, and have them in their space one more time. We also offer drive by’s - where we can take your loved one on a final drive in our Mercedes vintage hearse.

You can even take your person home if you wish.

Your person may be clothed as the family desires, including jewellery however anything remaining with the body will be unrecoverable. Personal items, jewellery, or clothing the family want to save must be removed before cremation. It is recommended that jewellery be removed after death.

Generally the week of the cremation taking place, however under special circumstances we can try to arrange to have the cremated remains available sooner. 

In your explanation it is important to use the words ‘dead’ and ‘died’. Don’t use words like “gone to sleep” or “gone away” as these can be confusing to children. As you talk about the death give lots of physical and emotional support, talk about the person who has died, and talk about them now as being a ‘memory’.

Some adults are concerned about crying in front of children. This is a learning experience for the child, and understanding that when we are sad we may cry is a helpful lesson for them. Explaining that the tears are because of sadness may help the child feel freer to express their own feelings.

Begin to focus on events and experiences that can be remembered by the child, talk about these, and explore tangible ways of remembering the person.

The word cremate is a difficult one for children to understand, so the word “burn” may be more understandable even though it is a difficult word for adults to use. It is essential to explain that with burial and cremation, what is being buried or burnt is the shell, or left-over physical remains. Again, as adults we may find such descriptions insensitive, but we need to find concepts that children can relate to. Say that the person who is dead has no feelings now, so heat doesn’t hurt as it does when we are alive.

When deciding whether to bring your children to a funeral it is best to consider the age of your child and their relationship to the deceased.

If your baby or toddler is likely to become unsettled, it might be worth considering a babysitter, or seating yourself near an aisle in case you need to leave the service.

If you do plan to bring children to a funeral we suggest that you spend some time prior to the event talking with them about what to expect. Talk to them about why we have funerals and some of the things they may see during the service. It’s good to have a bit of a debriefing after attending a funeral, allow your children some time for questions and reflection to help them process the service.

If you are finding it difficult to decide, the Beyond Blue website provides further information about supporting children through grief and loss. 

There are no right words to say. Often actions speak louder than words. It is better to “be there” and to give emotional, physical and practical support than to worry too much about trying to find the appropriate words to say. Honesty will be appreciated, so saying you don’t know what to say will usually be more appreciated than statements which may sound like clichés. Also remember to be there after the funeral, most people have so much interaction before the funeral and then after the funeral things go dead and that’s when they need you the most. 

Inevitably, in our bereavement process, there will be times of loneliness and sadness. One way of trying to turn those moments around is to find creative ways to express our feelings. Some of these may include: writing, painting, drawing, creating a photo album or memory box about the person, planting a garden, going for a walk in nature or doing the things that the deceased person enjoyed doing. 

Join a bereavement support group, this can enable us to share times with others who have gone through similar situations and who may have found other ways of doing things to help rebuild their lives.